The Weekly Rant: The Ranting Dead Season 6 Episode 9

Don’t make me say it… PLEASE.

FINE! Fine… I’ll say it… “I missed you.”

HAPPY NOW?!?!

That is the conversation I had with myself as I navigated my DVR towards the Season 6/2 premier of The Walking Dead.  Like that bad girlfriend she is, The Walking Dead had MADE me want her. She strategically disappeared when I thought I was officially done with her, only to come back when I realized her replacement, Agent Carter, simply wasn’t cutting it. Its not that Peggy isn’t great; she is. A delightful blend of ass-kicking and name-taking, mixed with beauty and grace and she’s perfect and wonderful and… and she’s not you, Walking Dead. I thought I could just leave you in the past and replace you with a new love, but, like cheap rock cocaine, I just cant escape you…

This episode was an epic make-up session. It reminded me of everything I love about The Walking Dead. It had REAL people making REAL desperately difficult decisions with a blend of insane gore and some of the best gallows humor you will find on television. In short, I loved it. Yes, it had its flaws. Yes, it put Glen in yet another “OMG Glen’s gonna die!” moment. But it also had the complete extermination of a family of key characters in UNDER A MINUTE! Not one, not two, BUT THREE key characters met their untimely demise in a mere few blinks of the eye. Classic Walking Dead gold.

So lets take a second to discuss the freshly dead Andersons; the first Anderson to obtain his demise last night was Sam. As I’ve mentioned before, I had a soft spot for Sam. He was a small ember of innocence still burning in world void of anything hopeful.  His character really only had two options: evolve or die. As we all saw on Sunday night, that choice was made for him when he froze in the middle of the Walker Parade and began to break down.  They were on him faster than a fat kid on birthday cake. Upon seeing her baby son being ripped apart like a rotisserie chicken, Jessie also broke rank and screamed out in emotional agony. That emotional agony turned to physical agony as the starving hordes realized another piece of cake was in play. In a flash, she was gone… only to slowly drag Carl into the noshing fray because of Jessie’s inability to, forgive the double entendre, let go. So what does a father do when his son is about to be pulled into a walker feeding frenzy? Oh clearly, he’d just grab Carl’s free hand and pull him to safety… wait… that’s not what happened. Instead Rick grabs his hatchet and begins hacking off Jessie’s hand RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER STILL LIVING SON.  This show has had some messed up shit before, but that is one of the worst things I’ve seen to date. Luckily, THE worst thing I’ve seen on this show followed closely behind it: Michonne running Pacey through with her katana after he drew on Rick. That’s right folks… Michonne killed a child.  The story moves quickly past this fact, what with Pacey shooting Dawson in the eye as he dies, but still. MICHONNE KILLED A CHILD.

We also got to see the remaining members of Alexandria rally around Rick and his gang to save their town. Even Father Douche-Nozzle joined in the fight after having a realization about the nature of God; it was an amazing turning point. These people are no longer Alexandrians; they now belong to Rick, willing to stand up and fight the fight.  Prior to this, you definitely got the vibe that Rick would have burned everyone of them alive to protect his crew. Now, after seeing them fight along side of him and defend their territory that view has changed. Hopefully, these people won’t be used as walker fodder to be picked off in the short run future like the residents of the prison were…

I’ve heard “one of the best episodes ever” bandied about since Sunday and that ma

Please feel free to throw out your opinion on the episode in the comments section. As I’ve said before, I couldn’t care less about them but Bryan loves responses. If these little weekly rants don’t give you a belly full of Uncle DumDum here, please check out the Agent Carter After Show on thestream.tv Wednesdays at 615pst.

Welp… see ya.